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Wanna buy Michael Jackson's old crap?




In April, there's going to be a huge auction of MICHAEL JACKSON'S personal belongings at the Beverly Hills Hotel.  It shouldn't surprise you in the least that there are some pretty FREAKY items going up on the block.  They include the following . . .




--An electric cart with a picture of Michael as PETER PAN airbrushed on the hood.

--A portrait of Michael dressed up as an actual KING



--A spandex glove covered in orange Swarovski crystals.



--A robotic, metal head that was used in the movie "Moonwalker".



--A limo with a SOLID GOLD BIDET in it.



--A painting of Michael with some other historical figures who are all wearing Michael's sunglasses and single white glove.  Those historical figures are:  Albert Einstein, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, the Mona Lisa and E.T.  (???)

You can see even more weird items at this link:


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I'm THRILLED for Barack. Now gimme my change!

Well it happened. History happened. And YOU were alive to SEE it! How cool is that? The first African-American President in American history!  It only took 220 years, people. So now we wait and see. What will happen? Will President Obama bring us the change we so desperately need?  I'm not sure, but there seems to be a new feeling rolling across this country-HOPE. It's refreshing, isn't it?  HOPE!  Haven't had it in a while. I don't know if you voted for Barack Obama. I don't know if you even like the guy. But look at it this way: whether you like him or not, it was time to call the bullpen and get a new kid on the mound. Well, we got one!  And honestly, I DON'T know if he'll be a great President. I don't know if he'll bring us the change we need. But I know a change did us good, so let's give the new kid a chance, OK? Honestly, he couldn't do much worse, right? One more thing: remember it's OK to wish and hope for change, but it's better to BE the change you wish for. Don't sit back and expect this thing to happen around you. BE A PART OF IT. -N
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Happy New Year!

It's here! 2009! Finally! Hope you had a safe and prosperous holiday season (meaning I hope ya got a lot of cool stuff).  So NOW the question becomes...what about this brand new year?  Are you going to do anything different this year? YOU know...any resolutions? Well I can think of a couple that I want to work on, and here they are (in no particular order): 1. Clean the Zoo office. It is an absolute MESS, no kidding! Right now I'm sitting in a pile that includes (no kidding) the following items: old balloons, a hockey stick, a jar of some liquid that I THINK used to be tea (but I don't know what it is anymore), a golf club, a traffic pylon, a giant inflatable bottle of corona, a drum set, and now xmas lights. Yes. it's a bizarre mess indeed. 2. Help other people more. I think this is a big one. I think I tend to take care of one person mostly-myself. But I'm in the position now where I can really help others, and I'd like to force myself to volunteer, even if it's once a month, to help others. I need to do it. 3. Dress it up a little. I've been making a concerted effort when I go out to NOT just do the "jeans, t-shirt, and hat" thing as much. The theme of 09 is "dress it up a little".  After all, I'm single again, and I need all the help I can GET, ya know?  Which brings me to... 4. Find HER. Boy, if there was one lesson I learned in the past year it's THIS: sometimes you have to be involved with something you DON'T want, to find out what you really DO want.  I don't think I have to get into it any further, but let's just say I'm very clear now on what I DO want in a girlfriend, and definitely what I DON'T!! 5. No More Drama. I think I make this one for myself EVERY year, and by the end of the year I always have it in my life.  So I will be wiser and smarter this year, and let my head do more of the thinking than anything else, and hope for the best! Those are MY resolutions. What are YOURS? -N
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Aww...MOM! Thanks a LOT...

Jason's mom (we are not using his last name) took out an ad in The Tampa Tribune to help him land a wife — or at least a few potential candidates — by Christmas. If you're interested, send a photograph and information about yourself to: Christmas Mother-in Law, P.O. Box 11802, Blacksburg VA 24062. She'll respond with a thank-you note and send each reply to her son, who says he will meet with every person. We'll keep you posted on his progress.

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Hey Dad! Did U Get My Txt??

Meet Elizabeth Frisinger: She lost her virginity and accidentally texted her dad!

Elizabeth (Lizzy) Frisinger 18, a Senior in Cleveland went on a class trip where she lost her virginity on the beach.  Apparently it was “gr8″. We know this because young Lizzy was so excited about her conquest she texted her friend, except it wasn’t her friend, she had accidentally texted her dad.  Class trip finished. Since then, a pic of Elizabeth’s iphone (above) has been doing the rounds of the interwebs, and a classmate of hers leaked her senior year picture to a Cleveland Radio Station to complete the story.

Enjoy your 15 minutes of fame Lizzy, we are sure this will help you win friends at Syracuse, where she has early acceptance.  As yet no name or photos have appeared of the lucky boy man.
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